'For your own safety, please stand behind the yellow line.'






Singaporeans definitely know how to follow rules.

but i can't hold back anymore.






this is really pissing me off.

days when i took train to city hall to go to work.

when i want to alight from the train.

this is what the exact scene.

you guys must be thankful that i don't have a camera.

if not i will surely take a picture of every-fuck-one of ur face.

and give you people a nice nickname before i edit it with paint.



ok.

you all just followed rules right.

'stand behind the yellow line' - checked

'stand behind the yellow line and blocked the fucking door' - checked

'stand behind the yellow line and blocked the fucking door and rush in the moment the door opens' - checked.





i tell myself i shall not tackle everyone who come rushing towards me.

because for one simple reason, they are not holding a rugby ball.



soon, you all will force me to bring them and put it in your hands,

and don't blame me for giving you people a lift tackle.





this really irritate me. you think by rushing in, you will get a seat?

sorry that you have to find out on my blog that, by the time the train reach city hall from boon lay, the seats are all taken.

common sense please.



even if there are seats, those standing in the train already will sit down 1st before you even get your ass in the train and after you got tackled by me. so what's the worth people?





since i'm always full of brilliant ideas, here are my advices to you people.

1. if you are going towards boon lay from city hall and you want a seat. take the train to changi. then bounce back. trust me if you don't have a seat. find me. i'll let you sit on me. only if you are hot. if not you can sit on the person next to me.



2. this idea goes out to SMRT. refer to diagram below













now you all will know how to stand behind the yellow line PROPERLY.




now WHERE'S MY SEAT?

chocolate milk, banana milk, strawberry milk. ever wonder how they are made?

well a stupid answer will be to squash some strawberries and mix them in the milk.

but my friend had a stupi... better answer. she thought that to get strawberry milk, just feed the cows with strawberries and milk them, and there you go! strawberry milk! i thought cows only eat grass, i didn't know they eat strawberries, banana, chocolate. lucky cow.

all the Marigold workers will be out of job.

and the funny thing is that she's not joking.

God bless your innocence. i meant ignorance.

i don't blame her. cause literature never teach her about strawberries, cows, or milk. Just like engineering never teach me about william shakespeare.

lol. still friends right.



for the past few days. i thought about alot of things.
especially where am i leading in life?
i'm not being emo. it's more like a reflection on myself and find the right path again. and my sister email me a passage from the book she read, 'happiness now' by Andrew Matthews. and there's one line in there i want to share with everyone who need some motivation now.


'take any goal you want to achieve, ... , and you will find a hundred reasons why it is inconvenient or impossible, but all you need is ONE really good reason why you want something! then you go and get it!'

thanks sis.

good teacher.


ok that's all. time to go eat some strawberries and hopefully it will be strawberry flavoured. if you know what i mean.

i managed to catch 'forbidden kingdom' by Jackie Chan in the theater,
and i'll probably go get myself drunk first before getting all violent,

and boy, the malaysian man who abandoned his two daughters in JB better pray that he does not met me with my Erdinger in hands.

i'm angry and disgusted at the man's doing, at the same time feel sorry for his two young daughters.

click here to get angry

yes, men love sex.
but haven't you in the 29 years of your life, heard before the saying
'with great sex, come great responsibility'?

even if it was not great, you still have to be responsible.
they are your own daughters.

i believe if you are not ready for the commitment and responsibility required for bringing up a child, to provide them with love and concern. then don't.

they are the ones paying for your 9secs of pleasure.
(thanks my friend cucumber, who told me of the duration of orgasm)
for 2 daughters, 18 secs of pleasure.
your selfish 18 secs can ruin the two little girls' lifetime.

get yourself a blow the fuck up doll.
or just wear a simple rubber.

be responsible people.


this is a very valuable lesson for everyone i feel,
both the parents must be ready to be committed,
take up the responsibilities for the upbringing of their child.


in yesterday's paper, the father had a tearful reunion with his daughters, saying he will take care of them. and Mr Soon, who have been looking after the two girls for this man, said at the end of the interview on what his view on the reunion, 'Only time will tell.'


and indeed it is a short time.

in today's paper, the father ran away once again while giving excuse of going for a toilet break.


Seems like escaping through the toilet is a new thing in town now.

i thought flush away through the toilet bowl was a myth.


adults like to lie.

frienster's new horoscope for today:
Aquarius:
'You're a good person, and people will see that today -- even if you're teasing them.'

friendster know me best.

but it's still wrong.
not only today, c'mon. be generous, no wonder people are switching to facebook.

__________________________________________

when i was younger,
each time finished watching a Jackie Chan's movie with my family,
i will go around kicking my sister.


my teachers alway say practice makes perfect.


but my mum told me, 'violence does not solve any problem.'


see wen, by stabbing me, it does not solve any problem,
it will only casue more,
because many of my fans out there will be mourning my death,
in return, they will not have the mood to go work or go school,
which will eventually affect the singapore's economy.

so wen, put the spear down. repent and you shall be forgiven.




but few days ago, i saw an article on the NEWPAPER, makes me wonder actually violence do solve some problem.


click here for the story if you think i'm hot


since all of you, my readers clicked on the link.
i don't really need to give more details on the story.
and thanks by the way.


but i must say, she has put violent into good use.
and the thief is quite a disgrace honestly,
what a pussy.
literally.



from her story, i came to an enlightenment.

my mum's saying is 'violence does not solve any problem.'

i'll tell her 'violent enough can solve any problem.'



let see if i can find any Jackie Chan's movie.

ok this is getting out of hand.

the intention of my posts are meant to be children friendly.

where the whole family can sit down and read them without worrying about any explicit contents in my blog.



for far, my posts are doing fine.

just a few comments on tagboard are not so family-friendly.


lets not point finger at wen. i don't like to pinpoint people out.




wen is a very beautiful girl, and she studies literature, as you my readers can see from her comment, she is a big fans of William Shakespeare.


why she like William Shakespeare?


i'll guess is because of the keyword in his name - 'shake'.





lol. i'm just kidding wen.



i guess many of you out there will be interested to see how a girl will look like to be a fan of William Shakespeare right?


no worries, my reader. i never disappoint.


i managed to get hold of a picture that wen took with W.S some time ago.

i'm just playing wen. (:

next, something is bothering me for the past few days.

i'm so occupied with the inflation we are facing now.

serious people, i do worry about not earning enough in the future to even meet the necessity of daily life.

maybe i'm worrying too much, until a tourism and hospitality friend of mine confirmed my worries.






















$30 for one underwear, that's what i call inflation people.

start saving now my friends.

well done.



all these years haven't i been nice to you?



and yet you decided to disappoint me now. abandon me NOW.



just one day before my exam, why do have to do this to me?



u left me so helpless. so blinded.



i was panic without you by my side.



but it's ok. i can get over you.



you are not irreplaceable.



i'm sure i can find one that is so much better than you,



more understanding than you.











fuck up tablelamp.

‘让我闪耀，让我闪耀，让我发出光辉将个世界照’

(direct translation)
'let me shine, let me shine, let me emit lightrays to shine on the world'

how inspiring.

you are suppose to sing it in cantonese then you will feel the inspiration.
it was one of my choir song back when i was in primary school that we need to perform.

yes choir.

but since the little siukee. i knew there are alway remixes for songs.
i heard one such version from some fucking seniors that corrupted my innocence from then on.

it goes.

‘让我小便，让我小便，让我发出小便将个世界照’

(direct translation)
'let me pee, let me pee, let me emit pee to shine on the world'

equally inspiring.


this simple line changed my life.
whenever before i pee. i will sing this song to my mum.

just imagine if i'm really urgent.


the reason why i painstakingly typed those chinese lyrics
is because i went swimming this afternoon,

there was this botak chinese boy peeing in the pool!

let give this botak boy a name, say peeing Tom.

I don't blame peeing Tom for peeing in the pool, i mean be honest here. put up your hand if you have pee-ed in the pool before when you were younger.

see what i mean. now i know you all pee-ed in the pool when you were younger.

sick fucks.



anyway, what was so disturbing, was not the colour of his pee, but the expression on his face.

He was laughing really happily to his sister as he pee, and his sister was cheering him on.


exciting hur, sister.

it can only get more exciting.



he noticed that i was looking at him, and he didn't stop laughing. but i did not cheer him on like his sister. i just smiled back at him.

i guess that's the natural polite reaction to anyone who is laughing/smiling at you.


the first thought that came to my mind seeing his expression was,

"poor Tom, god knows how long you have been holding your pee."

the second thought was,

"are you sure you are peeing, Tom?'

men are only so happy when you know, you all should know la my readers, you all are not saints.




but i can come to a conclusion. he was not in choir when he was in primary school.

if not he will be happily shouting

'let me pee, let me pee, let me emit pee to shine on the world'

see siukee. karma.

being an asshole like you making fun of your friends and your teacher sister.

now the whole world gonna think that you surf porn again this afternoon because of drea's comment.


but in fact you haven't. maybe you were planning to.

until your mum call you to go to the bank and get your atm card replaced.

maybe you'll go and have a look later when you have time.


now you must feel remorseful about what you've done.

you must be feeling sorry for being such an asshole to your friends.

now you must apologise.


siukee is sorry, friends.



you must promise yourself to andrea, wen, kim, andrew, josh and all other friends that are gonna feature on your blog soon that you will not mention their name ever again on your blog.




i'm sorry people... but








Dream On. :X




aww. siukee.

today i received an email from my dearest sister who's working in hongkong as a teacher.


the title of the email : 'hey fucker.'




teacher.



she goes on and mention in the fucker email that:


'So.. before I start, have you been good? I mean.. of course you aren’t. I can see that you are hyper-sexually deprived but who can blame you? Afterall, that’s the only thing that ever occurs in a man’s mind eh?'



only teacher add such beautiful adjective to sexually deprived.



therefore. i have made up my mind! no more sex on my blog. not only people thinks that i'm hyper- sexually deprived, they will think that i'm a shallow person, somemore i read the NEWPAPER.


so today! i will touch on something that concern everyone of us right now.


something that is affecting everyone's daily live worldwide.




yes. the stock market.





ok. i'm done.

moving on. despite my previous attempt on reducing the number of people calling me fucker.

some people just don't learn. let's not try to look at the tagboard and try to find my friend drea. whose real name shall not be disclose as andrea.


and let's not mention my sister email too.




teacher.




you guys better stop it before i do something drastic.

but it's too late. i already did.






















well. it didn't really go well with my surname as you can see. but fortunately, my surname is not Seah.

if not. it's really 'Fucker Seah'.

i'm just playing guys, you know i love you.

recently, my friends are becoming very wary when they talk to me.


they are afraid that they will become the next victim of this blog.





no worry kimberley, i covered up your name in the picture.

i deserve some scolding.

that's all friends. my mum just said.

"hey fucker! Go back to your studies la"





ok she didn't said that but i know she wanted to.

is ok. i still love you mum.

Arsene Wenger, manager of Arsenal, said something very disturbing after Arsenal's 4 - 2 loss to Liverpool in the recent European Champions League Quarter Finals.


Quoted from the NEWPAPER. yes the newpaper.


'Over the two games, this is hard to swallow. the ...'


&


'we have to live with decisions like that. But, for seven or eight weeks now, we have had to swallow things you rather not swallow.'


~Arsene Wenger




woah.



now i know what goes on in the dressing room.

now i know what you guys are swallowing that i rather not.

now i know you guys are swallowing for so long.

now that explains the recent poor run of form.






now this arsenal fan with his hand up say excitedly: 'My turn to swallow!'

look at the determination in his eyes.

men and women both love their respective 'S'.

Yes! you'r right. i'm talking about sex again. partially.

there's no denying fact that men love sex. i have a colleague, let's not mention his name andrew. he proved to me that, men can have sex anytime anywhere of the day.

the other day when we were having a nicotine break during work. a hot lady walked pass:

sk: 'woo. she's hot.' (which actually meant i want to have sex with her.)
andrew replied: 'i juz had sex with her with my eyes.'

That is what i call eyes power.

men just love sex.

but for women, as much as we think they love sex just as we do, we are wrong.


they love Shopping!


'YAY!' half the population just cheered with joy.

you ask a lady which month of the year they like most?
'june' is probably the answer.

is it because it's school holiday? (for some)
No. its GSS!

GSS stands for great singapore sex. sorry i meant sales.



i'm always impress with womens' sense of direction only when it comes to shopping.


'where's topman?' i asked


'oh. walk straight all the way, once you see Giodano turn right, then go further down until you see a fountain and turn right thats where topman is.' female shopper replied.


'woah. so... where's toa payoh?' i asked, expecting an equally detailed answer.


'huh? don't know la. don't ask so much la. go shop la, ask ask ask, you know where's topman meh? hur? hur? hur hur hur!' what a replied by my female shopper friend.


you see. when it comes to shopping. women just know where are having the best deals.

jeans?
come i'll bring you there.

tops?
follow me.

bags?
this way.

shoes?
here.


the confidence you see in them when they are giving direction in the shopping mall make men wonder, 'she must have worked here as security guard. but nvm i still want to have sex with her.'


their love for shopping is same as men's love for sex. based on one common belief - it is never enough.


that's never too many bags for a lady.
that's never too many sex for a man.

that's always room for one more pair of shoes for a lady.
that's always room for one more round of sex for a man.


see the resemblance.




the smile on the ladies face when they are shopping, is the same kind of smile you see on a man's face during the beautiful game - sadly not sex but soccer.


Yes, soccer is men second love. saturdays are never complete until your wife/girlfriend comes home with Le Senza bags in hand and ask you. 'honey, i'm home. did man utd won? want to have hot sex right NOW?'


but in reality the only thing gonna happen to NOW is:


'honey, i'm home and you better get your ass off the sofa NOW and come here and carry the bags for me. my heels are killing me. argh.'



aww. aren't they just lovely.





what about women's second love?

well it also starts with a letter 'S'.



aww. thanks.








p.s: for those beauty contestants reading this, in case you still haven figure out what women's second love is that starts with a 'S'.

well it's siukee.



aww. thanks.

few days ago i read an article on the NEWPAPER, i ain't shallow i just don't have the time for STRAITS TIME, that piece of wonderful news could bring a faint smile to all heartbroken ladies out there.

Not implemented in Singapore yet. No worries heartbroken Sg girls, i can bring a faint smile to your face.

Anyway back to the news. click here if you think i'm hot

Spent alot time doing physics and computing today. while i was doing computing, which involves writing over-elobrated programmes for a simple question. it reminds me of one thing -- women.

i'm super dehydrated tonight. which gave me the inspiration for today's post.



Nope. it have nothing to do with water whatsoever. just that because of the lack of water in my brain, it makes my brain more concentrated. yea if you know what i mean. haha.



i juz discovered a phenomenal.



when i was younger, i am pretty sure and confident with myself that my name is siukee.

but as i grow older, i get more and more confused is that my real name. or should i put it that my friends are the ones getting confused.

usually my name now revolved around two things. one is fucker, the other is a female reproductive organ.

let me just give you a few examples.

at work;

when i arrived at work, our first greeting of the day to one another will be 'hey fucker.'

so no surprise there when some customers in the store mentioned 'fuck', its a natural reaction that my colleagues and i will turn and look at the customer, not becasue he's rude, but because we thought he was calling one of us.


in school;

i'm an average guy, therefore the attendence for school is also average. alot of my friends from the same lecture group seldom get to see me and they must have missed me. once they see me, they must be so overwhelmed with emotion that they will go 'hey fucker, so long never see you already, busy studying ah?'

'hey fucker' - correct
'so long never see you already'- correct
'busy studying ah' - correct

basically its a very correct statment.

the last example is over the phone;

i got this best friend of mine, lets not mention his name joshua.
most of the time he call me, once i pick up the phone, he will go;
'Wa 'female reproductive organ', i tell u ah....'


u see. real names are over-rated.

but actually come to think about it. u only call people u are close to with nicknames and my nicknames are more than just personal, its private sometimes. awww... i just love you guys. but i ain't gay.

my best friend is a shy guy.
more shy than me, that's really shy.
the other day i was at his hall, discussing on the topic to present for one of his module.
basically it's just a 3min prepared speech.
he told me he is going to touch on the wonder of smiles.
and he shared with me a poem relating to smile and i was so impressed that i rated his poem the second best that i've ever heard in my many years of experience in literature, to be exact, sec 1 and sec 2.

before i share it with you guys, he proved one very important point of today's entry. The thesis statement of this post: 'January babies are generally humorous.'

i know i konw. readers out there can't wait to agree more on that.
lets not elobrate on that if not it will be as long as another post. ok i know what you are thinking, just for you, my readers, i'm gonna touch on that for my next post.

back to the poem, my best friend say he came up with this 4 liner poem just to illustrate to his class the amazing power of smile and also to make it a more interesting introduction for his speech. the poem is as followed:


"when i was a juvenile
i saw i man sitting along the aisle
looking sad, i approached him with a smile
turns out he's a pedophile" ~kwl



lol.
my first response, beside laughing out loud, was what the fuck that's gotta do with the wonder of smile? that's not wonderful.. to some maybe. and i told him, your classmates gonna think that 'poor chap, he muz been ass-fucked when he was younger, lets check out his ass while he presents' and at this point i got an inspiration for a part II for his poem, and it goes:


"when i was a juvenile
i get ass-fucked once in a while
all started because of an innocent smile
now i turn out to be a pedophile" ~sk



surprisingly, both of us said the last line together. now you see why we are best friends.

being a shy guy like him, who would have expect him to present this kind of explicit contents to his classmates?
well, he didn't. instead, he chose to present another poem which is less disturbing compared to these two.
in the end, he didn't do as well as i have expected. like i told him, pedophile sells! just look at micheal jackson! ok yuk fon is going to be angry that i poked fun at her childhood idol.
But she's a girl, she's safe.


Guess we all have learnt a very important lesson here today.
Never smile at a man sitting along the aisle, if you are a juvenile reading this.



if you are not a juvenile reading this, and i happened to be the man sitting along the aisle. then i got another important lesson for you.

'hi i'm mix capricorn/aquarius, wanna go swimming?'




lol. i'm super lame.

and thank you for your 10mins to read this important announcement.

it was really beautiful.

the sun, the sand, the sea.


Nothing more i can ask for. honestly.


Thanks for being there please. (:


but i still think i'm quite crappy sometime
just so i can see your sweet smile.

I wish for a sunny wednesday.

Hopefully the radiostation will play:

Eternal Flame.








'close your eyes, give me your hand'